Bendy Rider

Thursday afternoons are definitely something to look forward to: they're riding days. I stop pretending to know how to row, and pretend that I know how to ride instead. When I was a lot younger I did an awful lot of riding - even owning my own horse, Rocky - but after fracturing my spine when I was 13 I was unable to look after Rocky and I certainly couldn't ride him.

Early days!

I took a long break to allow my vertebrae to knit together and my discs to reinflate! However, by the time I got back into riding I was having lots of problems with my legs, and the muscles that had been damaged around my spine were still extremely painful. I still loved being with the horses, but riding for any length of time was now agonising. I also felt that I wasn't riding very well - I couldn't keep my legs in the right position because they started to spasm, and I found it tough to sit up tall because my back was still so weak. I therefore ended up riding very infrequently. Every time I did it again, I loved it - but it hurt! I had some amazing rides, of which probably the best was riding a Camargue horse across the salt plains of southern France and down to the sea. It was such an amazing experience, and although it hurt my legs it was definitely worth it. I knew I really, really wanted to do more.

With my Camargue steed, Zelda.

The breakthrough came when I met someone at the National Para-Rowing Development Camp who had got involved with the Riding for the Disabled Association. I had been aware of the RDA for a long time, but wasn't really sure how to go about getting involved. Talking to this other rider/rower, I was really inspired to find out more. As I was soon to be moving house, I looked up all the centres that were local to my new home, and found that there were loads - getting involved in disabled riding is definitely easier than getting involved in disabled rowing! One quick phonecall to the lady in charge and I was all set up to have my first session with them just two days later. Here's how I got on...

 

Week One - breaking myself back in

For my first session, I was on a pretty and slightly cheeky-looking little horse called Jacko. I discovered that riding a horse is one of those things where you don't really forget how to do it altogether, but you do quickly fall into bad habits. My session started gently, being led on the lead rein until I was used to Jacko and he was used to me. I eventually progressed to walking and trotting without someone on the lead rein - which was great for feeling independent, but less great when Jacko also wanted to be independent and felt he knew better than me about a twenty-metre circle!

The session really was fantastic. All the staff and volunteers were friendly and helpful, and were very concerned that I should a) have fun and b) not overdo it. I definitely had fun, and I didn't overdo it - it was just right for getting back into the swing of things. I also found it really liberating (I think that's the right word) to be in an environment where I did not feel frustrated at my lack of ability to perform simple tasks, embarrassed by having to ask people to help, or ashamed for having to admit my limitations. I try not to feel embarrassed or ashamed too much of the time, but I'm not very good at curbing frustration (as my rowing coach will testify!). However, at the stables I just felt that any problems I might have were not seen as insurmountable obstacles. This is usually true of rowing as well, but the RDA had a particularly supportive atmosphere, since they are so used to dealing with disabled riders. Often in rowing clubs there are some people who aren't very supportive or understanding of para-rowing (even if that is not their intention), which makes me feel bad for being so useless. There was none of this at all at the RDA - they just seemed to second-guess every problem I might have, and were there to lend support before I even asked for it.

Week Two - thrown in at the deep end!

After my first session, I was asked to take part in a 'quadrille' at the RDA regional conference, which will be later in October. I thought this sounded fun and exciting and definitely the kind of thing I'd like to be involved in, so I said yes straight away, not really being aware of what I was agreeing to! Soon enough, I received an exciting piece of post, which was actually the first post I'd received at my new address - so doubly exciting! The envelope contained an A3 sheet of paper with a series of complicated coloured squiggles drawn on it. I was to ride Victor (dark blue line), and soon set about limping around the living room, learning my moves...

So, I go forwards, stop, salute, go forwards again, turn left, then left again, then left again, then I'm at the end of the second one...you get the idea.

Well, I tried really hard and I learned the moves. I felt quite confident going to the stables on the Thursday, and was really looking forward to putting it all into practice with a horse, three other horse/rider pairs and, of course, music!

What no-one told me is that the instant you get on a horse, it all switches round in your head. I was almost completely useless, and certainly completely dependent upon the shouted instructions we were receiving. Somehow it all looked upside down and back to front. I messed up cutting across the school to form a little box of horses in the middle; I did my 'wiggly bits' wrong, and I failed to walk at the same speed as my partner the other side of the ring.

How it looked the next week - slightly less clueless...

We tried it again. This time it was a bit better - I had a slightly better idea of where we were going; I didn't mess up at cutting across the school and my wiggly bits were just that bit neater. I even nearly managed to be at the right speed all the time! I certainly felt much better after the second run-through - as if the whole thing were possible after all. However, I was aware that I'd need to do a lot more work on memorising the moves - doing it at home was all well and good, but now that I'd done it properly with the group it was time to go through those moves again in my head and really figure out what was going to happen, where and when. It was a challenge alright, but I was definitely looking forward to it!

Week Three - putting it in to practice

Week Three basically started where Week Two left off - I spent the days in between sessions pacing out the quadrille moves and trying to make sure that instead of just marking out a little practice ring at home ('turn left at the mug'; 'start a circle when you reach the stapler') I was also thinking about where I was moving in relation to the other riders and the ring itself. This sounds like an obvious thing I should have done from the outset, but it's really hard to imagine what's going on until you've actually done it in person. Maybe that will get easier as I get more experienced, but as it's my first ever quadrille I reserve the right to take it slowly!

A very miniature arena!

I had company going to my third session - a friend who had an exam earlier in the day, and was having a celebratory trip out. He also proved to be a useful photographer, so all the photos from here on are his! This session went quite well from my perspective - I remembered what I was meant to do without being prompted, and certainly executed the moves better than last week. Unfortunately, one of the other riders was feeling really ill, so she wasn't able to ride. One of the brilliant volunteers ended up running around the ring in place of her and her horse - we were all tired so she definitely got a good workout! It felt really good to go through the whole thing a couple of times without worrying about what was coming next, and it also gave us a chance to practise getting certain bits really well synchronised with each other.

Ready to go - I'm in the one in the foreground with the daft hat.

There were a few bits I didn't do quite right - I didn't stop nicely in line with everyone else at the beginning of the second run, and at times my trot was either too fast or too slow. I was also struggling a bit with the trotting moments - we do rising trot (where you stand up and sit down in time with the horse's leg movements), but my feet were completely numb, which made it quite hard to do the standing up bits. I also struggled with keeping the reins held in my left hand properly - I couldn't keep my hand in the correct position because I had a muscle spasm in my arm which just prevented me from holding it properly unless I moved my entire shoulder as well - which would have looked even worse! However, my body didn't give up completely, and it wasn't too painful, so I felt quite pleased at the end. Certainly my horse, Victor, deserved a big pat and a cuddle - which I was happy to supply.

Good horses.

All in all, it felt like a good, useful session. I'm really looking forward to having the routine polished and to performing it at the regional conference. I just hope that we can rise to the occasion and really show off all the work that the volunteers have put in (they've easily put more work into it than I have, I'm quite sure - and I've worked quite hard!). Let's see how the practice goes next week...